


Ready Now

by candlewarmth



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Harley Quinn (Comics), Poison Ivy (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Dead Joker (DCU), Dick Grayson is Robin, Domestic, F/F, Farm Lesbians, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, One Shot Collection, Out of Character, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Past Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne, Pre-Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Surprise Baby, Talia al Ghul Tries, maybe? - Freeform, waking up together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26895781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candlewarmth/pseuds/candlewarmth
Summary: A collection of one-shots, light on the angst, heavy on the fluff. Just what the doctor ordered.1. Farm lesbians (Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel)2. Sleeptalking (Tim Drake/Jason Todd)3. Surprise! (Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne & Dick Grayson)
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	1. Blonde Sun - Angus Maude

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like this! My therapist told me to quit writing such angsty stuff for a while, so I'm going to focus on things I know I can finish and finish happily. If you want to use one of these concepts, go right ahead, just send me a link so I can read it!

Harley hadn’t believed she could ever leave Gotham. The smog of that city tended to seep into your lungs until you became dependent upon it. Sometimes the fresh air out here still seemed too overwhelming.  
Still, as she stood barefoot on the porch in the early morning, sipping coffee and listening to birdsong, she felt a little more tension ease out of her shoulders.  
In the distance Ivy was singing to the blueberries and sweet peas, some slowed down version of a pop song. Probably something by Taylor Swift, if she thought Harley couldn't hear her.  
As a meadowlark flew by, sweeping low, Harley smiled, and headed inside. It was almost time for her first appointment, and she wanted to have Ivy’s tea ready beforehand.

No one had believed they could do it. Just quit Gotham and disappear. Joker had mocked Harley as he punched her, Ivy screaming in the distance. White skin, red lips, purple bruises to match the suit. The suit, the suit, the suit.  
It’s what she grabs  
It’s what she presses the explosive to.  
It’s the first part of the Joker to go.  
Harley was unconscious when Ivy gathered her in her vines, bearing the two of them away, leaving the so-called heroes to clean up the mess. And Ivy made good on their plans.

Once again, Harley wore her hair in a bun and had glasses on her face. She had on a simple turtleneck, in a shade of pink that was blinding at close range. Her doctorate was faked, but she had earned it the first go-round. She sat in front of her laptop with a professional and soothing smile. Her first patient of the day joined right on time.  
From her office, she heard Ivy coming inside, shaking off dirt and finding her black tea. Sounds of domesticity trailed her through the house as she checked on each of the live plants. They would meet up for lunch before Ivy headed out with her pickup full of plants, distributing them to farmers in the area who were having trouble competing with bigger corporations. They were both in a different sort of fight now.  
There wasn’t much Harley missed about Gotham. The egg sandwiches, maybe. The excitement and night clubs and control, sure. But Bud and Lou had come along with them, so it’s not like there was anything she actually needed back there.

Ivy had insisted on maintaining some closeness to Gotham, in order to monitor the plants she left there (one day when the humans were gone, the plants would grow over every building). Upstate New York had been their compromise. They didn’t buy anything in advance, they didn’t do research. Just forged new ID’s and headed out.  
Of course, life hadn’t followed that plan. Someone snitched. The Joker, in a rage. The Joker, in a grave.  
But their new town didn’t know any of that. They just knew the bubbly blonde was called Blossom by her girlfriend and had a psychiatry practice, and the redhead was called Babes, Sweetface, and Honeydew and ran their small farm. And if sometimes Blossom flinched when someone laughed a little too hard, and Babes grew a little green around the gills, they figured it wasn’t their business as long as their two neighbors were safe.  
And they were safe. They kept others safe. And so in this way, they were happy.


	2. Be - Hozier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason went for a swim in the harbor. When he wakes up, he feels warm and peaceful, which is suspicious.

Jason couldn’t move. He felt warm, content, safe, but something heavy was definitely pinning him to the sheets.

After the night he had, he deserved some rest. Getting doused in Gotham Harbor is never fun. If the cold didn’t get you, the toxins did. Luckily he had his helmet on, and the filter had saved him from the worst of it.

He vaguely remembered coming home to a shower and the crockpot of soup he’d left heating. Perfect way to warm up. There was something else though, tugging at his memory. Had he had a visitor that early in the morning?

Maybe he didn’t care. Falling back asleep sounded nice. He could try to recapture that tail end of a dream, where he had opened an orphanage for the Gotham streetkids, but an underground one where they felt safe. 

Just as his brain started to drift off again, the weight on top of him shifted and a flood of cold air frosted his bare back.

“Cold!” He gasped out as he bolted upright, nearly smacking noses with the Goldilocks in his bed. Said intruder threw the blanket back around his shoulders. 

“Timmy? Whatcha’ doing here?” Oh god his nose sounded plugged up. And really, when had the baby bird packed on enough weight that he couldn’t just sit up with him on his back?

“You didn’t answer your comms last night after the dock fight. Babs was worried, so I tracked you down. Jay, you almost had hypothermia, why didn’t you call for help?”

“Couldn’t. Comms were waterlogged and it was faster to come here than go get my bike. But what I meant was, why are you in my bed?” And had he eaten his porridge?

The smaller vigilante wrinkled his nose, looking puzzled.

“Because you were hugging me like a teddy bear and wouldn’t let me leave? Do you have a concussion?”

“Nah, just a cold. Might be a little disoriented. Tell me my kitchen isn’t a mess.”

“Kitchen is fine. We got here at about the same time. You took a shower, put on some thermals, and ate soup. I was helping you get to bed and then you wouldn’t let me go.” Tim was shifting his eyes around now, seemingly avoiding looking at Jason.

“What else?”

“Oh nothing else.” Bullshit. Tim looked like he had a secret, and Tim never gave away his secrets, so it must be really embarrassing. Jason cast his memory back.  
Shower, soup, bed. Shower, soup, bed. He was so out of it with exhaustion and cold last night, but Tim was there to help. Shower, soup…… Oh no. His eyes snapped to Tim’s face, held his gaze.

“Did I. Did I say something weird last night?”

“No nothing weird. You were just a little confused. You seemed to have me mixed up with Roy or something.” There was no color to Tim’s pasty face, like usual, but his ears might as well have been a neon sign.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well you kept squeezing my arms and talking about my muscles? I mean, we all have muscles Jay, obviously, but you were really focused.”

Jason really wished he was back asleep now. Taking care of all those orphans, making sure they got food and an education and healthcare. Teaching classes, making meals, kissing Tim, singing lullabies, cuddling Tim…… Shoot, that was in the dream too.

“Did I say anything else?”

“Just that blue eyes were the best and you loved me? I love you too, Jay, you’re a wonderful person.” Maybe Tim was fucking with him on purpose. Wouldn’t put it past him. But those were problems for a far more awake Jay.

“I’m gonna go make oatmeal, Tim. Want any?”

“Sure Jason! You always make it just right!” And with that, Tim sashayed out of the room like nothing was wrong.

One of these days, Jason would tell him. One day.


	3. Braver Still - JJ Heller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Damian!

Bruce knew he was staring. He really couldn’t help it. The soft light in the room seemed to highlight every vulnerability. Was he ready for this? Did he have a choice?

The sleeping baby snuffled, wrinkling his nose. Perhaps he was dreaming. Damian al-Ghul Wayne. It was a lot for anyone to carry, but to ask it of the tiny one in front of him seemed impossible. With a lineage like that, assassins and royalty on one side, millionaires and vigilantes on the other, did Damian have a chance at normalcy?

Before Bruce could get too caught up in his brain, Alfred knocked softly at the door. The older gentleman seemed to savor Bruce’s confusion and happiness. While he had been observing Bruce as a parent to Dick for the last four years, a month-old baby presented entirely different challenges. Personally, Alfred was ready to see the Batman change some dirty diapers. Hopefully he wouldn’t go the way of so many dads and try to create a hyper-masculine diaper bag. Considering his resources, Bruce could create a truly reprehensible product.

Bruce looked back at Alfred with his heart in his eyes. His overwhelmed, vulnerable look was a cry for help.

“How could she not tell me, Alfred?” Maybe unspoken, how could Talia do this at all? Bruce’s father stood close and placed his hand on his shoulder.

“There may not be answers to that, my lad. At least she recognized the dangers in keeping Damian near her father.”

Both men gazed down at the baby, wondering how this was going to change things………

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dick was twelve years old. He felt this was very important, as he was almost thirteen, and being a teenager is basically being an adult, so he should be allowed to drive the Batmobile, right Bruce?

Bruce didn’t see it that way.

Neither did Alfred.

Or Commissioner Gordon.

Who, incidentally, was the one who actually caught him driving the Batmobile. 

But when he called the private number he had for Batman, instead of being told to wait for Batman to collect his wayward Robin, he was told to program the car to drive Robin back.

So Dick knew something had happened while he was out. Something so huge that maybe he wouldn’t even get in trouble for being out at all. Maybe.

Bruce met him in the Batcave, and sat him down on one of the workbenches.

“You’re in trouble for driving the batmobile, but we’re not going to focus on that right now. There’s been…… a change.” Bruce was rubbing his hands together, like he was nervous. Dick was beginning to feel a little more nervous too. What could be wrong?

“There’s a baby. Here.”

“Oooookay. Like, lost? Or for a case?”

“No, more like,” Bruce felt his vocal chords stutter, “my son. Damian. He’s upstairs.”

Dick froze as panic washed in. Was this it? The end of Batman and Robin? What would Bruce need him for if he had his own kid?

Through the blood rushing in his ears, he heard Bruce talking again.

“Dick? He’s going to need you. If you want to take it slow, that’s fine. But do you want to come meet him?”

His heart rate slowed a little.

“So you don’t want me to leave?” 

Bruce looked like someone had smacked him over the head with a two-by-four. 

“Leave? Chum, why would you leave?”

Dick finally started to cry.

“Because, cause you have your own son, and you don’t need me, and I’m just a circus brat, anyways, everyone says so….”

Dick found his words suddenly muffled by Bruce’s shirt, as his dad pulled him in close and wrapped him in a hug.

“No, no, no, no, no. Dick, chum, I need you more than ever. I can’t do this without you and Alfred, you know how bad I am at cooking. And who’s supposed to teach him how to tumble? Oh Dickie, we need you, but more than that, we want you here for as long as you want.”

Bruce’s shirt got damp with tears and snot, but he had more important things to worry about. After all, he had two sons.

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate your comments and kudos, but I'm still getting a hang of how to interact with people in regards to my writing, so be forewarned I may not respond. But I will definitely read your comments and hoard them like a dragon. If I decide to expand on one of the chapters, it'll be it's own fic, but the chapter will stay up in this fic as well. Oh and just so you know, I'm definitely thinking Margot Robbie and Bridget Regan as our main characters.


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